Well It's official we're starting over with trying to conceive (TTC) in hopes that we will be able to give Aiden some siblings here on earth. It's a nerve wrecking decision because there are so many things that (in my mind) could go wrong, but at the same time there are a lot of people who have perfectly normal healthy babies.
I'm doing my best to not put to much effort into getting pregnant again. But it's hard not to, I'm so incredibly obbsessed with getting pregnant again and having a healthy baby this time. It doesn't help that I have no idea whats going on with my body. Last time we were TTC I knew what was going on because I had had a period and knew when my cycle had started. Now I have no idea.
I bought some ovulation detectors (OPK's) but their not really helping shed any light on the situation. The way they work is they pick up LH in your urine which rises as your body gears up and then is at it's peak when you ovulate. It looks similar to a pregnancy test where it has two lines a control line and a test line. right before ovulation the tests will show lines but they wont be dark, the day of ovulation the line is dark and the same or darker then the control line. The day after ovulation the line will lighter again, and idealy eventually go away.
On Sat I took an OPK and it had a light line, on Sun I took another late in the evening and it was neg, Today I took another and it has a light line again. LOL I think my body is toying with me! In the past I would sit and obsess over it, now I'm just hoping that my body has O'd. Mainly because I want my body to start my cycles again to give us a chance to get pregnant again.
I've prayed a lot about TTC and being pregnant again, and I've decided that when God is ready he will give us another baby. It will happen when it's meant to, and as hard as it is for me not to know whats going on with my body, it's all in God's hands.
I'm just going to have to keep reminding myself that God is in complete control and when it's time he will give us more children.